A Har Zion Moment: Memories of Early Kallahs (From Father and Daughter)
In anticipation of the 75th Anniversary Celebration on November 15 (details and RSVP here), Temple member Michael Zmora is sharing a series of small vignettes from Har Zion’s history. Michael has been researching Har Zion and the history of Jews in Oak Park/River Forest for over a year. For this installment, Michael Zmora asked his 75th Anniversary co-chair Len Grossman to reflect on his early memories of Kallah, the Har Zion synagogue retreat that began in the mid 1980s. Len happily obliged as did his daughter Sarah, whose memories of those years gives us a complimentary perspective on growing up with Kallah and then experiencing it years later as a parent.
From Len Grossman:
The Inspiration for Our Kallahs
It must have been some time in 1984. My mother, Trudel Grossman, known to many as “Omi,” attended a retreat sponsored by Niles Township Jewish Congregation with my brother and his family. Trudel loved the ruach and the sense of community. Not long after that, Rabbi Joseph Tabachnik had an “Ask the Rabbi” session here at Har Zion and Trudel asked why we didn’t have one.
Havdalah at an early Kallah
Rabbi Tabachnik was intrigued and in late fall or early winter 1985, we went for the first time to the Perlstein Center in the Wisconsin Dells for a long weekend. At least in our family’s lore, Trudel’s question started it all.
Although my memory is hazy, and it has been a while, some things stand out from that first weekend. Trudel came, and along with her best friend also named Trudel. They stayed in the motel-like rooms attached to the dining hall. And they came back every year for probably two decades.
My daughter, Sarah, came too. She was 5 years old, and she was the only child that age there that weekend. There may have been a few teens, but I don’t think so. Of course Sarah was treated like a princess. She had the run of the place. We didn’t have to worry about cars or anything. Our only worry was that she might fall in the lake but that first year it was mostly frozen over.
The early years at Kallah were really adult weekends, packed with study sessions, even before breakfast (these were optional). There was a full menu of activities; you had to plan your weekend. The programs ranged from Torah study to more touchy-feely types of activities. Of course there were services.
Saturday Night Movies
On Saturday night there was a program, and then a movie was shown. We would have to take turns staying with Sarah during the movie, because it got pretty late. In later years, one of the teens would stay with her.
Two movies I remember were The Frisco Kid (starring Gene Wilder as a Polish rabbi and Harrison Ford as a bank robber who befriends him), and Mel Brooks’s The Producers. I had not seen either before. I confess, I didn’t get The Frisco Kid the first time I saw it. And I hated The Producers; I just couldn’t accept joking about Hitler. I don’t think I laughed during that movie until at least the ninth or tenth time I saw it. (But something has made me watch it again and again over the years.) Like the study sessions, the Saturday night movies were part of my Jewish education.
The Food
On the left, Doris and Hal Blumenthal (Steve Blumenthal’s parents), center are Sheldon and Phyllis Baren, and on the right, Sally Grossman, and Len Grossman (Sarah Pelton’s mother and father)
The food at Perlstein was excellent, and plentiful. And the singing in the cheder ochel (Hebrew for “dining room”), especially on Friday nights, was energetic. Many years the singing was led by Rebekah Levin or her brother Dan. After dinner, the Birkat Hamazon (Grace after Meals) was sung with gusto and much pounding on the tables.
Our only real complaint the first couple of years was that we were over-programmed. We were in a beautiful location but didn’t have much time to wander outdoors. As the years went by more time for recreational activities was built into the program, especially as teens started to come, which gave a whole new energy to the weekend.
Riding on the Bus
The Kallah Bus Ride
I don’t remember when we first chartered busses to get up there, but that extended the Kallah include several hours on Friday afternoon and on Sunday. Rebekah would pass out song sheets on the bus and lead us in singing. And sometimes readings related to the workshops were distributed. I especially remember that one year copies of Emet v’Emunah, the new Statement of Principles of Conservative Judaism were passed out.
On the way home, my mother Trudel would get out half gallon milk cartons filled with “Omi Cookies,” her home made butter cookies, and pass them around. (Somehow she had managed not to distribute or eat them earlier in the weekend.)
Rabbi Tabachnik was known for being very uncomfortable around kids in River Forest, but at Perlstein, he was a different person. As more and more kids started coming, we saw a whole new side of his personality in that magical place.
The Wedding of Marina and Vladimir Tsesis at Kallah
A Wedding
Long time members Marina and Vladimir Tsesis were regular Kallah attendees. They had had a civil wedding in the Soviet Union, but had never been able to have a Jewish wedding ceremony. So, one year, I think it was 1986, the Saturday night program was a Jewish wedding for them—a real Jewish wedding, performed by Rabbi Tabachnik. Following the ceremony, the entertainment that year was a wedding party, with horas and kazatskies [Cossack dancing]; the whole shebang. [Len made an album with many pictures of their wedding; click here.]
Move to the Spring and the Talent Show
After a few years the Kallah moved from November to late winter or early spring. The Saturday night activity one year was a joyous Purim Carnival.
The 1990 Talent Show: Left to right: Cydney Kaplan, Julie Solomon, and Jennifer Mann
Eventually, the early evening programming on Saturday night became less formal and one of the great continuing features of the Kallah began—The Talent Show. The show featured both kids and adults performing in many ways. Some told what we now call Dad Jokes, some sang, the kids in one family did a martial arts demonstrations. My daughter Sarah and her friends preformed the camp song “Just a Boy and a Girl in a Little Canoe,” with hand motions and a clever punchline. It became a perennial favorite.
Somewhere along the way, I started a sort of tradition. After Havdalah and dinner on Saturday night, when it was dark I would take the kids, I mean the pre-teens, on a walk part way around the lake. They could use their flashlights in one direction, but not on the way back. I would ask one of the kids to lead us in the dark. Sometimes they missed the path that led back to the cheder ohel but someone would notice and convince the leader to backtrack. We all made it back every year, or at least I think we did.
Kids in the 1997 Talent Show: Mike Soffer is the kid with the backwards cap, and also pictured, per Mike, are Aaron Miller, Lindsey Wolfman, and Gillian Fred.
To Wrap it Up – Sunday Lunch
The final activity each year followed lunch on Sunday. We would get into a friendship circle and sing “Shalom Chaverim” and other favorites, and people would take turns expressing their thoughts and feelings about the weekend, giving thanks and appreciation to staff and others who made the weekend special.
And then we would climb on the bus and wait for Trudel to pass out the Omi Cookies.
Leonard Grossman, October 26, 2025
From Sarah Grossman Pelton:
Some Feelings
Len Grossman is on the right, in the furry hat (the only person with a hat), to his right is Sarah’s mother, Sally Grossman, and Sarah Grossman is the girl in front of them in the yellow coat.
I’m not sure whether it’s good or bad that I read Dad’s reflections first, because I didn’t remember a lot of what he recounted!
I guess it’s true that early on I was one of the only younger kids at the Kallah, but honestly that wasn’t unusual for me at WSTHZ growing up, so maybe it didn’t seem that different.
What I do remember is a feeling of freedom. It was the first time I experienced Judaism in jeans instead of being dressed up for synagogue. Having the flexibility to run between the lodge, dining hall, and services felt wonderful.
I remember riding the bus early on, surrounded by all the “older, cooler” teens who were there for the weekend. And I can still picture us singing and passing out Omi cookies on the ride home. When the Kallah later moved to the spring, it was always near St. Patrick’s Day, so I’d get a shamrock shake—funny the things that stick in a kiddo’s memory.
My favorite Kallah memories began once more kids started coming. We’d do crafts in the basement, play gaga in the pit, and just have the best time.
As soon as I was old enough, I started bringing friends from Hebrew school—sometimes even their parents came. I remember my friend Amy Thomas teaching me “Just a Boy & A Girl” and all the hand motions. The first year, I think it was just Amy and me performing, and I’m not sure she came back after that, but the tradition continued. Each year, I’d do it with the younger kids, and the group grew bigger and bigger. Even long after I stopped attending, the song lived on.
Just before Janice Patterson passed away, we held an event outside her house—singing to her from the street—and I remember performing that same song again.
When I came back in 2019 with my kids, it was incredible to watch them have that same sense of freedom and community I remembered so vividly.
I think Dad did a better job on the facts, I just remember the feelings!
– Sarah Pelton